I Want to Save You
by ForeverandAlways
Summary: It was always there, always and forever. Naley AU OneShot


Hey Everybody,

I know it has been forever since I've updated 'Chasing Cars' but I've had a bit of writers block. I am working through the problems I have now and will hopefully have a good, coherent chapter posted this week. The following story is a one-shot that I wrote based on the song 'I Want to Save You' by Something Corporate. I enjoyed writing it, so I hope you'll enjoy reading it. Thanks of course to the lovely Hana, who not only helped me edit this story but who is also my bestest buddy. Love ya. Happy reading.

xo-Lisa

**I Want To Save You **

She slid away from his familiar body, her chest still heaving from the moments passed. Patiently , she stared at the ceiling, waiting for the sound of his shallow breaths, praying that it would be soon. She sometimes wondered why she waited; did he even care? Probably not. She remembered how it used to be, how they used to be. The first time they were together he was so gentle and they held each other all through the night. That was gone now. If she was being honest with herself it had been gone long before. Sitting here in the darkness waiting for his sleep to let her escape seemed laughable now after all this time. After all the times they'd been together. She certainly wasn't the innocent girl she used to be, why did she even bother to pretend?

She released a loud a sigh and pulled the sheet firmly to her chest. He always did this, rolled aimlessly around in his sleep. He used to grab for her, pulling her body close into his arms ; now his arms gripped the blankets pulling them away from her, exposing her to the night. Her warmth wasn't needed anymore. Sometimes in the darkness of the night she wondered if he had ever needed her, if she had ever been anything to him.

She rolled onto her elbow and looked at his face as he slept , examining all of his features in the dim light of the moon. He had never looked serene or peaceful in his sleep. He had always worn the contorted wrinkles of pain; he never let them go, not even in the beginning. She squinted and looked at him more closely; his long lashes, his sandy brown hair mussed to one side, and of course his well toned and defined body. Girls swooned for him; they'd always made offers, baiting her. She was tempted to laugh out loud ; had they any idea what he was like? The painful walls he placed around himself, the inability to show true emotion even in the most intimate of moments. No, she doubted that any of them had any idea the complexities that he held. Hell, she barely grasped them; she would never be able to understand. So why did she bother even trying? Was it for love? Certainly not. Was it to justify what they'd been doing? What she'd been letting him do to her? Was I because she was alone, that he was it, he was everything she had?

…

Tossing the basketball into the air he listened intently for the sound of her movements in the next room. He glanced to the clock that sat on his desk; it was getting late, where the hell was she? He laid the ball to his side and ran a hand through his raven hair, clenching and unclenching his teeth. He couldn't pinpoint the exact moment he knew. He guessed that it had been a lot of moments strung together. Now, as he sat in the shade of the darkness he knew for absolute certain that he loved her. He loved Haley James. The girl with the perfect auburn waves with the voice of an angel and a laugh that could melt a million hearts. He loved her with everything he had, and yet here he was alone in the next room while she lay in a tangle of sheets in his own brother's bed.

He remembered the day that he met her as if it was just yesterday. He could clearly describe what she wore, the way her hair fell, how bright her eyes had been. She had joked with him, smiled at him, acted as if he was the most important person that existed. That was before Lucas ; before he saw her, and took her away. He wanted her innocence; he wanted her to fix him, to make all of his problems disappear. He saw it all in her ; he wanted her and, by god, he took her. They had appeared happy in the beginning so he drowned his feelings; not for the love of his brother, but for the need for her to be happy. He never did stop watching her or stop wanting her. Eventually the happiness in her eyes faded, the sparkle that had once shone brighter then the sun died. She was no longer the unique wonder that she once was. She was pieces, taken apart by his brother. A man so torn by the pain of his past he threw away the love of Haley, the girl that was always supposed to be his.

He was tempted to get up, to tear into the next room, pick her up into his arms and never let her go because that was what she deserved. He couldn't fathom why she would stay. Why she lay in his bed every night , made love to him, and then left. Sure, Lucas never cheated, but he was never really faithful. She gave all of herself to him, and he threw it away. He wanted someone to erase the past, to care for him unconditionally, and he thought she filled that void, that hole in his heart. The bastard wanted a warm body, and Haley wanted love. Lucas had never loved her, not like he did.

…

Haley fumbled around the bedroom hoping like hell she wouldn't wake him. She didn't want him to see her like this. Broken and alone after Lucas had finished with her. He had always watched her. In the beginning it made her nervous, his cobalt eyes had an intensity his brother's never had. Nathan had always looked at her with a passion that made her insides burn. Even in the better days Lucas's eyes had never held so much emotion. It was all physical, but not with Nathan. 

She pulled her t-shirt over her head and sat down at the end of the bed tying up her sneakers. She couldn't wait to leave, couldn't wait to get into the fresh air, away from the stifling guilt. It had been a month since he had first caught her leaving. He had given her a look of pure anger. She had never seen Nathan's eyes so filled with fire. He hated her. He hated her for giving herself to Lucas. For never asking for love in return. Most of all he hated her for not leaving, for not walking away. She couldn't take his disappointment. He was all that she had left. He was the only one who saw her. He really saw her. God, all she had to do was walk away. All she had to do was tap on the next door and he would take her. He would love her and hold her. He would treat her like a precious gift. He would make love to her; he would be tender and gentle . He would be with her forever. She knew it in her heart. She saw it in his eyes. Damn. Why couldn't she walk away? Why did she think she could fix Lucas? Why did she even bother anymore?

She carefully reached for the doorknob wiping a stray tear with her free hand. She took a look back at him lying in his bed, breathing deeply. She forced herself to forget about the pain and focus on the good, focus on it getting better. If she loved him enough he would love her back eventually. She pushed at the door and stepped into the darkened hallway. She shut the door behind her and walked cautiously toward the staircase taking a quick moment to check for light under his door. Nothing. He was asleep. She released a quick breath of relief and teetered down the stairs. She could do this. She had been doing this for months; it should be easy by now. She reached the front door and adjusted the strap of her book bag. She was almost there, away from the stagnant house. The house that held the men she loved.

…

He had waited until he knew she had left the house before roaming his room for sweatpants. He didn't know what his plan of action would be, but he had to do something. He had to go after her. He had to go to his brother. He had to explain the love he held for Haley. God, he needed her. He needed her more than anything. He grabbed his car keys and decided to follow her to make her understand.

He started the ignition and immediately the familiar sound flooded the car. She had left yet another of her CD's in his car. It was some soft female voice crooning a tune of sorrow and of love. This song fit her; the music she loved fit her. Everything about her was just the way it should be. He wouldn't change a thing. Goddamn Lucas. Why did she care about him? Had he convinced her that he needed her? Had he made her give up love so that he could feel safe, so that he could feel wanted? An image of her future with Lucas flashed in his mind. She would marry him and he would never love her. Another image flooded his mind, an image of her lying beneath him. Smiling, laughing and in love. He could see a future with her. He could see her stomach grow wide holding his child. If he could see it, picture it so clearly, it could happen. They could be together. He would just have to hold onto that hope. He would make it to her.

…

She stood completely still watching her reflection in the mirror. She looked down at the sink before her. It was completely ridiculous. Something seemingly so insignificant could change everything. She closed her eyes wishing that things had been different. What if she had chosen Nathan? What if she had been with him her first time? Maybe everything would be different. Maybe she wouldn't be standing here staring at her blank, cold eyes wondering if in a few moments her life would alter forever.

…

He pulled the car up alongside her house, and discovered he still had no idea what he would say to her. Would he say he loved her with everything he was? Surely she already knew that. A grin formed on his lips and the anticipation grew in his stomach as he climbed out of the car and began his walk to her door. He walked through the perfect garden and noticed that the light in her first floor bedroom was shimmering in the night. He took a deep breath and tapped the door gently. He waited for a few moments and tapped again. When no movement was made he reached for the doorknob and turned it making little noise. He looked to her bed, unoccupied, and made. It was then that he felt his gut drop. In that moment he felt everything alter, he was too late.

…

Pink. The little goddamned strip had turned pink. She couldn't ever remember feeling this helpless. Sure, Lucas would support her, he would marry her, and she would give birth to their child. They would learn to be a family. They would learn to make everything okay for the sake of this baby. God, she was scared. She had never felt so alone, so confused. In that instant she knew for certain. It was not Lucas that she loved. She had never loved him, because try as she might she couldn't see his arms cradling her and their baby. She had never been able to see him in her future. Even now as she let the tears fall freely down her cheeks faced with the reality of becoming a mother, she could only see Nathan. She could see him in every moment of her life; she could see their baby. She could see the future that should've been hers.

…

He watched her in the bathroom, crying. He wanted nothing more to go to her, to hold her, tell her that everything would be all right. She was holding a small white stick loosely in her hand. He knew it at the very centre of his heart ; a positive pregnancy test telling her that she was going to be the mother of his brother's baby. He thought he would feel anger, resentment, and sadness. He had been wrong. He had felt nothing had all. He heard nothing but the sound of his future with her drifting out into the night.

"Haley."  
He wasn't sure that his lips were moving, but the sound came out. She turned around so abruptly she almost fell. There were no words. There was nothing that she could say that would make this okay, to make this better. She started walking towards him hoping that he would allow her to rest in his arms.

"I love you Haley."  
She immediately halted her step and looked up into his sharp blue eyes. She prayed for some emotion. Hoped that he would exude sadness, pain, heartbreak, but the reality was worse. His eyes held no emotion. He looked at her steadily as if he was numb.

"I've loved you every moment since I laid my eyes on you and I think you know that. In fact , I think that has always been glaringly obvious."  
Haley nodded unable to form words for fear she would release the deep sobs she was holding inside.

"You're going to be with him." She shuffled her feet anxiously. It wasn't a question it was a statement. Finally she found words; she was able if only for a moment to hold herself together to properly let him go.  
"I think I've always been in love with you Nathan; in fact, I know." She paused reaching for his hand and intertwining their fingers.

"I've seen you, I know you. You've always wanted to save me." He pulled her hand and she came towards him.

"I thought he would love me. I thought that if I loved him enough he could love me in return." She rested her chin on his chest and he put his arms securely around her waist pressing kisses on the top of her head. "I didn't realize until it was too late. I didn't see. I would never love him enough, and he would never love me in return, because it has always been you. Always."

He swallowed back the tears and spoke. This was it. After this, it was over. "I'll love you forever. Forever. Always and forever."   
He captured her lips in his; he pressed them so tightly together neither could breathe.

The kiss seemed to go on for ages and when it ended she held him tightly to her body. She leaned up into the crook of his neck and placed a gentle kiss there before whispering softly. "Always…always and forever."


End file.
